This morning is rainy and cool. The fire is in the wood stove heating our
cabin into a cozy warm retreat. I
stepped out of the shower today with the realization that being in the woods –
being in the quiet does not inspire my soul, does not lift my energy. Now I knew this a few years ago, by evidence
of my journal entry dated in 2008 – that being in the quiet does not inspire me
to write. Then I had a more
productive thought; perhaps it is not staying in rhythm to what is important
for me that is the culprit and not the woods.
Ah ha, moment! Of course it is me; I am the one responsible
for how I feel, what I do and how I stay healthy and whole. Who else is there? Wherever I go, there I am. I need to take responsibility for my wellness;
of course I have been doing the minimum to maintain function.
I came here to the cabin with the intent to journal, write
and create – I had about one week’s worth of this – perhaps it is because I
never did find peace in my rhythm and routine.
I am sleeping in – I am not walking in the morning as I normally do and
nor am I consistently journaling. Now I
feel like I need to get myself together, to sort myself out. The only person responsible for my intentions
or rhythms staying on track is me. I
could have carved out some time; for I had created a sacred space a lovely
table with an east view to enjoy the emerging daylight. I could have learned to enjoy walking on the
road – it was not perfect however, I could have done it; while it is not a
trail in the woods, it is a road within the woods – could have been the same. Really all I needed to do is walk.
At any rate, this was a great realization this morning; I
need to reboot my program and get back on track, take my vitamins for my body –
take my vitamins for my soul. I need to
continue with my yoga, my small ball therapy and I need to walk. I need to journal, doodle, create and read. I need to do all of these things, DAILY; not
when pain presents and makes itself known.
I am thankful I have been feeling worse, yup, thankful. It is a nudge – “Karen, get back on track,
get back to who you are; you are a bit off course.”
My body tells me what is going on…I have been neglecting my
spiritual and soul work and it is reflected in my body. When I am feeling body pain – the ache in my
muscles and my bones so deep only movement and soul work will nourish and heal –
I know it is time to get back to being me; the thinker, the doodler, the music
lover, the dancer and the writer.
I also need to surround myself with like-minded people who
speak my language of soul and spirit.
By writing these few words; I am feeling more inspired –
more refreshed and energized. Today, I have written. I will take my vitamins – plan my great food –
have lunch with a like-minded friend and do my yoga. I might even go for a walk later – on the
road, in the rain and be thankful I AM walking. Today is the beginning (again)
to start my fabulous loving self-care.
Within the next two weeks I will pack the cabin up, drive a
week across the country staying in hotels every night and will then arrive home
for a few days and fly across the pond to England for a week of family, love
and fun. I need to be fully present; to
be healthy and able to fully participate in my life. It is time time to come
back to myself; fully. It has been a great learning opportunity and there is perfection in the pain and in the realizations and now in the new energy.
Does any of this resonate with you? Are you in a perfect place for renewal and recharge? How, when you are feeling the need for a
little soul nourishment do you replenish and move forward? I would love to hear.
